Let's Do The Time Warp Again

Leave it to our book club to pick THE-MOST-POPULAR book, and thus the hardest to find novel for our discussion. Throw in the fact that the movie based on the book, headlining Rachel McAdams would be opening the same weekend as our meeting?

Regardless we pushed through the high demand and managed to squirrel away a few copies of Audrey Niffenegger’s A Time Traveler’s Wife last month. Keeping with the theme of time traveling, we warped back in time to the Founding Farmers for discussion over brunch.

Brunch was a blast – we had a few new faces and a few old friends. I really love how the book club is become quite the melting pot of generations, Sigmas, and non-Sigmas. Seated at a family style table for 12, the 6 of us naturally attacked the waiter to see if he had any comments about the book. None..ok the movie…also nothing….ok Chick lit in general…still nothing …ok sir do you read? Well that segwayed him into a twenty minute monologue about Russian romance novels…next time Jen: don’t grill the waiter –unless it’s about the menu.

The idea of the restaurant is farm fresh – so everything on the menu is made from locally grown, for the most part organic ingredients. I honestly couldn’t tell the difference – but my Eggs Benedict was still scrumptious. Lizzie’s cornbread and waffles were amazing too.

As far as the book goes – I stood apart from the group. I loved the story. Now there are two types of great novels – those that are written beautifully in the prose, and those that are beautiful stories. This was the latter, not the former.

Although each chapter opened with a poem, Audrey steered clear of flexing any poetic muscles. Written like diary entries the two main characters took turns narrating their love story- which was as sweet as it was confusing. The chronology of the story bounces around like an epileptic with ADD who just discovered crack, but the author tries to ground you with a time frame under each entry. Word of advice – take notes as you’re reading.

The other point I had an issue with was when the husband and wife meet for the first time she is 6 and he is in his late 30s. When the get busy, she’s 18 and he’s still in his late 30s. Sure, when they are in the “now” there is only an 8 year difference, but when his zipping around…it’s a huge time difference. Last point was the whole dream sequence thing the author does – way trippy, I ended up skimming those.

But overall – I’d say it’s a 3 star read. The book tells a universal story – in this case it’s about a partner who has to leave without notice and the effect it has on his spouse, just remove the time-travel aspect – and there’s nothing bizarre about that story.

Fit For A Queen

For our book club read last June, we chose Amanda Foreman’s Duchess, the biography of Georgiana Spencer, Duchess of Devonshire. Having seen the movie before reading, I was expecting the same seedy love affair between the unhappily wed but wildly popular Georgiana Spencer, great aunt to the late Princess Diana and Whig Party up-and-comer Charles Gray. As in her real life, the affair was hardly a chapter’s worth of material

What started as a dissertation for her graduate studies for the author, quickly developed into an 18 –month, 450 page study on not only the life of Lady G, but an historical briefing on women, power, politics, economics, and society in late 18th century Europe. To be honest – this should be required reading for anyone studying the time period. What I loved was the overarching thesis of the biography – women may not have had the vote, but given the status and opportunity, many had power – real power and in some cases political influence. For Georgiana – she affected public opinion and the vote.

Reading like an historical novel, this was a refreshing account more about the women who changed the Whig party than the aforementioned English tabloid scandal. An account of an inspiring, head-strong woman, forced into an unloving marriage, and given everything, but in reality, had nothing.

For the discussion we had lunch at Dino in Cleveland Park. I was at an Italian restaurant – of course I ordered pasta. Even the spaghetti was delicious. And for us orphans transplants in DC – it was the next best thing to spending Father’s day with our Dads.

Under the Big Top ...Or 8

Cavalia
“Breathtaking” - O’ Magazine

Well it will certainly take your breath as you are hit with the smell of stables walking in – and it will certainly hit your wallet too. Let’s start with your $48 - $200 ticket. Then throw in a $15 program. As you’re rethinking your brilliant idea to bring the kiddi pops – their going to want one of those $20 stuffed horses and a $6 pretzel at the concessions under the eight-tent Big-Top. But this show it’s absolutely worth it.

I pulled in an hour before curtain call (had the wrong time in my all powerful G-calendar) so rather than tempt myself with all the equestrian chochkies, I headed across the street to Costco for the new Dan Brown book and an alternative to the $20 dinner at the overpriced concessions.

I have to say, upon returning I found myself nearly front row – and that was the beginning of an evening that exceeded my expectations. I have seen several Circe shows and have always been obsessed with our other four-legged best friends so the opportunity to see Cavalia, as it made it’s second tour through DC, was extremely attractive. But let’s be honest, how much can be done with a horse - I really wasn’t expecting to be blown away. It’s not like horses themselves are going to be flying on the trapezes. Watching someone else ride a horse really isn’t that entertaining. This was BEYOND expectations. I’ll say it again, IT WAS AWESOME.

Before the show starts, I hear over my shoulder nervous first date conversations mixed in with a husband recapping the new window replacement options he was quoted today. What was missing were the kiddy giggles and cheers of the usual circus crowd. Although the show was family friendly – it seemed as though everyone dialed the babysitters club tonight. One thing is for sure – it doesn’t matter who you are – if you love horses – you HAVE to see this show!

Aside from the slightly disturbing opening video of a mare giving birth – the show is beautiful. On a simple stage, the horses seem as though they are on strings as they “performed” intricate choreography. I used quotes because trainer Sylvia Zerbini explained to me after the show – for them – this is a game. The show is contently being revamped to hold the horse’s attention, rather than training the horses, the trainers are playing an intricate game. And more remarkable – they are fearless when it comes to the 2000 on-lookers under the big top.

The horses weren’t the only stars of the show. Time flies as the performers both 4 legged and otherwise breeze effortlessly through summersaults, trapeze choreography, flips, vaulting, impossible jumps and dressage routines, and more flowing material than Tim Gunn’s Mood store.

As the performance came to a close – I took a little pick behind the curtain to check out the stables. That’s when I got a chance to really talk to the trainers and the handlers. And for the last little surprise – a stop by the Rendezvous tent – were I grabbed a glass of wine (of course) and had the opportunity to talk to a few of the performers.

A few weeks after the performance, a couple of the trick riders, James Buchanan and Renny Spencer, came into the pub with Jimmy’s family. Recognizing them immediately, we started talking about their amazing riding capabilities. Turns out Buchanan is from Alexandria. Small world folks.

How Can We Forget?

It's not often in the battle against mother nature is that Sigma Kappas do not emerge victorious, but such was the case for our memory walk Saturday morning. I had been planning and organizing the Sigma Kappa Memory Walk team for over a year. We joined forces with Mix 107.3, rallied over 150 walkers, and designed some awesome shirts to combat Alzheimer's. We had it all down - from the tent, to the shirts, sponsors, and well - the team.

Come the morning of, the weather just wouldn't let up - Linds and I pulled in promptly at 8 am only to be greeted by huge gusts of wind, and no tent...long story. So here we were, over 100 girls, trying to get our pictures done professionally, without catching pneumonia. 

At about 9:15 this morning Kim (zeta team captain)  and I decided to give the team the option to walk or retreat from the storm. By our call time at 9:30 you can imagine, our team had cleared out. I was so disappointed. In the DC Sigmas history we have never cancelled an event, regardless of the weather.

Although the day turned crummy, as the largest sigma kappa team in the country - we did raise over $8800 for the cause. So it ended well, and in my and Lindsey's case - with Greek omelets, coffee, and dry clothes.

When One Door Closes...Bliss...

Just like restaurant week, twice a year Washington DC rolls out the super-deals for Spa Week. And we were committed this time to take advantage of it! On the list were two big names I have been dying to try...Elizabeth Arden's Red Door Spa and Bliss in the W Hotel. For $50 a treatment, why not do both?

So first stop, Red Door, which is conveniently located literally across the street from work. It was a perfect day for a massage - rainy, gross, and demanding. Linds and I were signed up for the stress melting ritual.

Having only been to a spa once before, aboard Grandeur of the Seas en route to Bermuda, I had no idea what to expect back on land. Nor had I ever had a male specialist. Lets just say I was a wee bit nervioso. But within two minutes Rob had me wrapped up in relaxing oils and was rubbing my temples. From there on in I was free-falling into heaven. After an hour of wrapping, exfoliating, and head/neck/shoulder and feet rubbin Rob was my new best friend.

Of course, I rarely see my own roomie, so we decided to make of night of it and head into the city for dinner. The target: one fish two fish, from our old GW stomping grounds. Well as we were heading in, the rest of Washington scrambled to get out. My only saving grace was I was still flying from my treatment! Thank you Red Door. Over dinner I was telling Linds, I felt like someone hit my reset button.

The next morning I got a call from Earla - the spa consultant for Bliss bringing me more awesome news - they had an opening for the spa week special - an oxygen blast facial. I was in. Luckily, I had gone into work a few hours early, so slipping off for a facial mid-afternoon didn't feel completely indulgent.

What a change in pace from Red Door to Bliss. If Red Door was Brahms, Bliss would be Joss Stone. What a completely different approach to healing but neither better or worse.

Now, I have never had a honest to goodness facial - but this was great - my face has never looked so radiant. I could have sailed ships home safely, my skin was glowing so brightly. Working with Rhea was like hitting the gym with a girlfriend - good for the body and the soul, and so much fun. She whipped up a tailored mask, ran through a litany of treatments, complete with an oxygen blast, and even slipped in an arm/neck/and shoulder massage.

The special was $50 but the same treatment goes for about $70 regularly - perfect for a once-a-quarter regiment.

In Love With The Boys From Jersey

Playbills may have been handed out, ushers may have walked us to out seats, but I remember going to a concert last night, not a musical. Last night, Linds and I were invited to Jersey Boys at the National Theater.  Written as the history of The Four Seasons, as told from perspective of the group's stars both in their own words, often conflicting versions and the music that sent them to the top of the charts. Never have I been so fully invested in a performance.


Ten minutes in, we were all clapping and dancing along as if we were the 16 year old fanatics they wrote the originals for. Sure, we all knew the words to the songs, but I bet two-thirds of my fellow theater-mates had no idea all those hits were from the same group. The acting was fabulous but what blew me away was last night's lead, Joseph Leo Bwarie, playing Franki Valli. I tell ya' if you put the two of them on a tape - I couldn't tell him from the real thing he was that authentic. So good in fact, the audience was on their feet for the ovation, and we hadn't even finished the second scene. And what Bwarie did for Valli's voice, Matt Bailey did for Tommy Devito's dance moves and New Jersey attitude. And then there's Joe Pesci - who knew he was so involved in the group's inception!?

The directing was as brilliant as the performers. Half the time, the quartet sang to us, the other half, they had our backs to them as we saw the fruits of their fame from their angle, bright lights, cameras, and screaming fans. 

Aside from Rent, this is the only other performance, I can't wait to see again!

Temporary Insanity

Twice a year, the folks at the Nordstrom’s open their door two hours early for overly enthusiastic make-up junkies to preview their season’s cosmetic collection a la runway style. Knowing my addiction very well – my enabling and equally addicted friend Angela picked up the tickets for the Saturday am show.

So there we were – 6:45 am, Starbucks in hand – waiting like stressed husbands on Christmas Eve for Nordies to open the doors to us as we watched richly colorful faces wiz by to set up. Then bam – 7 am on the dot and we charge – no exaggeration –charge – vying for great samples and front row seats. Mission accomplished.

For the next two hours we were dazzled and delighted by our host Julianne De’Chaump, Regional Manager for Nordstrom’s cosmetic department and her bag of goodies. In between coaching us on skin care, and luring us into overpriced merchandise indulgences, she would draw names for glorious prizes from La Mer, on down to Clinique. It was delicious.

So here I am scribbling madly – all the products I HAVE TO HAVE. Now in a regained sense of cogency, I reread these and giggle. For example – Laura Mercier foundation primer for mineral foundation – um I don’t wear mineral foundation and a $200 clerisonic face scrubber – yep need me one of them. Oh and don’t forget – Shu Uemura face cleansing oil – yes you read that correctly cleansing – oil. Madonna uses it – so throw that in my bag! At least the samples were free.

A View From The Top

Scratch this one off the bucket list!

Is it wrong to start your bucket list at age 5? Right or wrong….I did it. I saw Top Gun and aside from that movie cementing itself into the top spot of my all time favorite movies, it also sparked my interest in aviation. I will fly a plane before I die …and hopefully live long enough to get a license for it. So when a PR woman for letsgoflying.com sprayed her press release I bit. Heck yeah! I will absolutely take you up on your offer for a free flight lesson just to see what it’s about. So my camera sidekick Sam and I jumped in the cockpit. Once you started the plane, the only usable tape we could get was b-roll – so I fired off my off-the-record questions to poor Tony Chandler, our instructor. “Ever met a pilot afraid of heights?” I asked as Sam was turning green in the backseat. But Tony was no victim – he fired right back. While I was panicking about taking over the controls – he reassured me with this little treat. “It’s not the crash that will kill you…it’s the sudden stop.” “Bet you tell all your first-timers that.” He just laughed. But after about 10 minutes I relaxed and started having fun – taking us into dips and hard turns. The actual maneuvering the plane was not the hard part – it was like learning to drive an automatic at 16. The hard part was compensating for the whole 3^rd dimension. The car goes forward and turns – the plane does that plus up and down. Sounds simple but after a few dips I can see why you need 40 hours of practice before licensing. Now to find a sponsor for my $10,000 hobby.

Megs: Yen-Yen I Love Your Lifestyle

Meet Megs - Megs was my roomie senior year of college (patience and intimidation are hard qualities to find in a single person...she survived the Jen Hurricane and comes back for more....masochism maybe?) But to her credit, she is also the Maryl Streep of our generation, a human lap dog, and my number one cheerleader. In addition to pretending to work and harassing me via gchat (think creditor robocall style) she occasionally reads the Wahine.

Last weekend,  While linds and I headed to the Hamptons of DC for first time, Megs jumpstarted her roadtrip - marking Chez Copa as her first pit stop. Megs is, shall we say....creative...and downright impulsive..but no one can compare to her reckless charm. She was oh so kind to privately recap her little adventure for a select audience, to which I am completely exploiting and broadcasting over the Wahine Report Channel. Thought this would also be a nice little read for you all while Chez Copa and I remake The Lonely Planet "I'm on a boat" video this week from Bermuda. I would just link to her blog...but she has yet to start one...so here's her first shot. P.S. Megs this took 45 minutes to format...just sayin.

LLLLLLLLLLLooooooooooVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVeeeeeeeeeee Jen....

Long long ago in a land far far away (about a week and a half ago in New York), there lived a couple of fair maidens who turned to each other and said, “You doing anything?” “Nein.” “Wanna go on a southern road trip?” “Sure, why not?”


Welcome to the Southern Road Trip Recap Newsletter. The trip will be re-capped in four issues this week, beginning today. Please submit all queries and complaints to caroline0985@gmail.com, all compliments tommarymcg@gmail.com.


WASHINGTON DC/ANNAPOLIS: "This would be great material for your blog."


While Caroline was whooping it up in DC on Thursday at events for her brother’s wedding, I was home alone pining for adventure over “so you think you can dance.”


I embarked for DC at last on Friday, but Smarty Pants didn’t check her ticket and ended up at penn station with three hours to kill so I did some souvenir shopping (read: drinking alone at the bar which is called “kabooze”- very classy establishment for those who care to know...).


Once in DC, my college roomie Jen and her now roomie Lindsey actually left me to my own devices in their apartment for 36 whole hours. Realizing the weight of this responsibility, I abused it immediately and took advantage of the pool and laundry situation. Now, you may be asking, "Laundry?You were only there for 3 hours and you packed for 10 days- what gives?"Well, let me tell you about this smart guy (me).I had the happy surprise of realizing I packed dog treats (host gift for stop 2 in NC) in with my clothes.Now, as alluring as it sounds, it's actually not terribly exciting to smell like cured meat.So yes, I did laundry.You're all welcome.

The next day I stole Caroline away and we finally began our epic adventure- first stop: Annapolis.Here are some fun facts about Annapolis:1) Did you know it’s the capital of Maryland?Good thing after 4years in DC I totally knew that…2) Also, a lot of important historical things happened there.For example, Thurgood Marshall did something there.I’m not exactly sure what it was that he did but there’s a statue dedicated to racial equality.Caroline took a picture in front of it while making an equals sign.We asked the other tourists present if it was “too soon”.They just stared at us.This means it's okay.


Have you ever eaten steamed crabs?Caroline hadn’t, but I think the dining experience was enhanced by her outbursts of “EWWWW!!!IT LOOKS WEIRD!”Such a life-changing culinary event could only be topped by a trip to the Naval Academy, where we met a guard who was DA-REAM-Y, and told us we could do whatever we wanted.He didn’t actually say this but it’s what I heard.


The chapel at Annapolis is gorgeous, and so are the sailors.Some strolled on by us and said “Good afternoon, ladies.”Folks, these were officers AND gentlemen, but 1) we didn’t think they could see us staring, this was embarrassing, and 2) The embarrassment was only equaled by our inability to get words out because we were so blinded by the white.Caroline managed a “good afternoon?” while I stammered  over “Hi- I mean… hi.”We opted NOT to take a picture with Dreamboat Guard as he was really serious and military-ish and also really pretty, so we got ice cream instead and capped the night off with drinks on Jen’s gorgeous terrace in preparation for the next day's journey...

FORT BRAGG, NC: “Now is Not the Time to Start a Gender Battle.”

The train ride to Fort Bragg is 6 hours long. This is a long journey that requires extensive provisions like bourbon flasks, miniature bottles of wine and m&ms. These purchases get you funny looks at 9am,but look more normal around noon- at noon it’s positively adorable.

By the time we got to Fayetteville, NC (where the fort is), we were adorable, but the weather was not, so GI Joe packed us in and took us on a tour of the area before the rain got worse.

GI Joe is not his real name, but it’s funnier to say and probably helps me remember who he is better than his real name (jokes).Sean (before he was GI Joe) and I were in “The Crucible” together in college before he left to go join the army… something about “freedom” and “bad guys”or whatever.Personally I think he joined so he could teach me how to shoot.

Here are some fun facts about Fort Bragg:1) It is not placed on a precipice surrounded by stone walls.2) It’s basically like summer camp with a couple of differences.You can canoe, play polo, and do karaoke, but they will NOT let you jump out of a plane (even with a parachute) if you are a civilian, so don’t bother asking… it just makes them laugh…

After introducing us to a very large statue named “Iron Mike” and very large planes at Pope AFB (Caroline ran around with her arms spread pretending to be a plane, but decided that making the airplane noises was beneath her dignity), GI Joe took us shopping to acquire the basics like cake mix and Kevlar gloves.

At dinner, I think GI Joe began to realize what a hurricane his little whim of inviting us down would turn out to be, because we were best friends with the waiter before the first course and had already given each other nicknames.Caroline and I are basically popular everywhere.This was followed by Caroline dominating the pool table sat ITS, a Nascar bar behind the train tracks.GI Joe tried his best,but didn’t stand a chance against Caroline, who can actually play, and me, who can not, but who cheats shamelessly.

The next morning, Caroline and I invented “Army Tennis”- if it doesn’t go over the fence, the ball is still in play.The soldiers walking by were big fans, and I think they’ll adopt “Army Rules” next time they play, but the Army wives were more suspicious.

After a sweaty 20 mins in a stay-in-the-car-no-AC-car-wash, Caroline kind of lost her mind in need of the AC, so I ran to the WalMart for provisions like milk and water balloons.

WalMart is about 5 minutes away down a straight road.I was lost for two hours when GI Joe called and asked me to pick him up as he was done with work...

Driving on to an army base is complicated.First I went in the wrong entrance and they had to stop traffic so I could turn around and go back to the civilian part.When I finally got there they asked for my license and tags.Do you know what tags are? I didn’t- so I handed every single piece of paper in the car to the guard, which got a little bit awkward when we got to the parking ticket in GI Joe’s glove compartment. Apparently “tags” is secret army code for registration-they should just say that.

GI Joe was a little angry when he found out I was detained, but I was having a marvelous time!The guard and I were joking about how I was the only troublemaker of the day (the army now has a file on me- this is true), and the MP (military policeman), who I nicknamed Captain America, generously insisted on escorting me to GI Joe’s workplace.I told him this was wonderful as I was probably going to get lost anyway since I’d already been lost for two hours that afternoon- and how could I turn down my first police/military escort?!He laughed.When he finally got me there I asked him where he was when I was looking  for Wal Mart for two hours. He told me he wasn’t on duty yet but to give him a call next time. I did not realize this was a pick up line until later.

In compensation for my “troubles” (I was soooo upset by all that undivided attention…) GI Joe bought a round of the biggest cherry limeades I have ever seen from Sonic.This was my first trip to Sonic, which is a drive-in like in the Flintstones.It is pronounced “Sonique,” and it is amazing.

We picked up Caro, who, with Harley the dog, had made the most delicious cake ever in my absence, and we all went to the shooting range.I wasn’t sure if I was going to be allowed but GI Joe promised“You’re not coming to Fort Bragg and not shooting anything.”He was a marvelous instructor and took us through all the safety features and what to do (Caroline decided to cautiously observe and provide moral support rather than shoot).I am told I did very well (I got a bullseye!!!!!).My target’s name was Henry.Henry got what was coming.I named GI Joe’s target Phillip.GI Joe is a good shot, but when he let me get a few, it was me who capped Phillip twice in the head… just saying…Apparently I am a “killing machine.”I guess it runs in the family- thanks, Mom.

After dinner I learned how to hip toss, head-butt 5 different ways,deflect knife attacks, and stuff about cigars. Caroline was going totake pictures but I asked not to have photographic evidence of me getting my ass kicked, which did not actually happen as GI Joe is a gentleman, and I think got a little uncomfortable when I kept flinching- which is a natural reaction when you grow up with boys and not actually an indication of mistrust of your instructor, but whatevs.

The next day saw a successful 4:55 am wake up call for the guy who said waking him up couldn’t be done because “I’ve slept on helicopter pads.”Nein!I learned from the best- (my college roommates), and nothing is a better wake up than turning all the lights on and singing“Good morning, Starshine!” at the top of your voice.Effective AND marvelous.Caroline thought so too, she couldn’t stop laughing.I think the army should adopt our methods, seeing that they are so effective.

This time we were not trusted with the car, and were left to our own devices at home, where we made friends at the pool, and then built a fort in GI Joe’s room.

He got out of work early and we all went to the Wa-Ho (Waffle House)for lunch, followed by a tour of the home built by Edgar Allen Poe.Did you know that’s a really common name?Yeah, you go in and they tell you “No, not the writer, the other one- the businessman nobody knows about.”The tour was educational, however.And even though Poe’s daughter had more stuff, the son had the bigger room.When I vociferously objected to this, the already awkward tour guide stammered and GI Joe suggested, “This is not the time to start a gender battle.

We ducked out of the tour early and headed to historic Fayetteville for $2 beers (this was the regular price, not happy hour- I love the south).

GI Joe then dropped us at the train and went home to recover from the48 hour Hurricane- during which he was the most gracious, good host we could've asked for at Fort Bragg.

Amtrak was 2 hours late.

CHARLESTON, SC: “Just Walkin’ Mah Bird”

Success in travelling depends on an important combination of planning,and asking the locals where they go- it’s usually cheaper and better.Seeing as how in my ridiculous excitement I only planned for SummerCamp (read: Army) and Savannah, I didn’t really know a lot aboutCharleston, so it was lucky, the morning after we arrived (2 hourslate), that we were pointed in the direction of Joseph’s for abreakfast of amazing pancakes and tablecloths on which you may color.

After our morning feast we picked up Clara Barton- our car for theremainder of the trip.Clara Barton is a sleek, sassy, incrediblyfuel efficient silver fox of a Chevy Malibu.

First stop was the sleepy little town of Seabrook, as featured in “TheNotebook.”It looks different... almost opposite. The marsh waslovely though.

Then: Caroline's Undoing... The Battery is the tip of the Charlestonpeninsula.The homes there are ridiculous (Caroline was in heaven).We did not see many locals.They were steering clear.Caroline wouldsnap a picture.Stop.Walk.Shout (loudly), “STOP IT!THIS IS JUSTTOO CUTE!”and Repeat.Another thing you can see at the battery isFort Sumter… very far away.

Also at the battery is the Coast Guard, capping off our makeshift goalof hitting all the branches of the armed forces on this trip(Sidenote: You may be asking about the Marines.I chatted with one inJen’s building in DC.We talked about the weather.We're bestfriends).Caroline captured a beautiful picture of the Coast Guardbuilding with the beautiful sign in front of it that says “NOPHOTOGRAPHS.”

After sweet teas at the Barbados lounge, a crowded stroll throughMarket Square, and pictures in front of the “Cougar Club,” we arrangedto attend a charity event sponsored by Bombay Sapphire Gin and GQMagazine, honoring “Charleston chefs feed the needy," which is exactlywhere we headed after dinner at the Shem Shack and FREE COOKIES at thehotel.(The cookies = my favorite part about Charleston).

This event... was not what we were expecting.I think in our Yankeeminds we were imagining an antebellum event with pizzazz, and charmingSouthern gentlemen entertaining us.It was different... almostopposite...The Sapphire Collins was being rolled out with no lemonjuice and our social companions were... not the velveteen bunny.However, pictures of our mugs were snapped for “Carolina Nighlife” and“Charleston Magazine.”On the balcony Caroline saw her first PalmettoBug (flying cockroach), and used me as a human shield against it…twice.Good thing I’m nice and meaty.

Afterwards at a bar called Henry’s, a conversation struck up with theonly people from Jersey.Caroline made a joke about their reluctanceto disclose their professions, and the rest of the night was spentwith the boys insisting they were not, in fact, male escorts.I didnot talk to them very much, as the band was perfect for a dance party,and SportsCenter was on.But I did learn that boys don’t like it whenyou address them directly as “Hey, Wingman!”This was followed by anight swim sans boys.

Our last morning in Charleston began with big plans to have brunch atthe world famous Jestine’s, which does not open until 11am.Carolineand I spent the better part of the morning eating donuts to hold usover and whining, “What kind of brunch place doesn’t open until 11?!”As we were finally heading over, we saw a woman walking a pinkcockatoo.“Just walkin’ ma bird.”

When we finally got to Jestine’s, we realized why it took so long toopen- it did not serve brunch.We made that up on our own.Thecatfish was awesome though, with red rice and okra gumbo.Our sassywaitress came over and said, “Yeah!Y’all eatin’ Suthun now.”Sheloved us.We took our corn bread to go.The pecan pie didn't makeit.

Then the three classy ladies: Megan, Caro, and Clara Barton hit theroad and meandered down to Savannah.

Stayed tuned for Volume 1 Issue 4, First Ed: SAVANNAH, GA: “What’d yado, crap your pants?”

Last one, folks.A little longer, but Savannah's my jamma.

SAVANNAH, GA: “What’d ya do, crap your shirt?”

"We have a saying: If you go to Atlanta, the first question people ask you is, 'What's your business?' In Macon they ask, 'Where do you go to church?' In Augusta they ask your grandmother's maiden name. But in Savannah the first question people ask you is 'What would you like to drink?'"- Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, John Berendt

Clearly, Savannah and I were meant to be together from the start.

Here are some fun facts about Savannah (some may have fuzzy origins):1) The city, laid out by James Edward Oglethorpe, was designed beforehe knew where he was putting it.He was really excited.Also, hisstatue looks like Captain Hook.2) There are 21 squares in Savannah.3) Savannah is known as “The Hostess City.”It is such a friendlyhostess, that it even entertained the Yanks on General Sherman’sinfamous march to the sea.The Union forces were approaching the citywith 70,000 troops, with only 10,000 Confederates defending beauteousSavannah.The mayor, in a strategic business move (Savannah was abusiness hub in those days), marched out to meet the general andsurrendered the city without a single shot having been fired.Savannah hosted Sherman’s forces as they kicked up their heels for afew months.They then went and burned Columbia, SC instead…4) Savannah was a popular vacation spot for pirates.5) Savannah is the nation’s 2nd most haunted city (New Orleans is thebrat).There were lots of wars and other stuff…6) Our hotel, the Planter’s Inn, was intended to be the nicest hotelwhen first built.But it’s by the river, so… It was the nicestbrothel instead- you know, sailors…

Our first few hours in the hostess city (or as I now call it, “home”),were spent in typical fashion, pralines (pronounced prah-leens, notpray-leens) in River Street, wine and cheese at the hotel, and dinnerand cocktails at the Olde Pink House.Then we ghostbusted...

A haunted pub-crawl (Cobblestone Tours), showed us around the finestimbibing establishments in the city with the scariest ghosts.MoonRiver Brewing Co., has a very angry Confederate ghost in the basementwho I do not think knows the war is over.Or he does.Either way heis very cranky.We screamed a lot.But we found some great localesfor fun!

After the tour we backtracked to Congress Street, where the sounds ofa dirty bluesy band named Jubal Kane (they looked like ZZ Top) wereemanating from the Mercury Lounge.Without missing a beat I walkedright in and onto the dance floor to glorious domination.Carolinetook a little longer to warm up.The band liked our moves so muchthey stopped the music and handed us a CD saying, “We like the way yourock out to our music.”Win.

There was a guy in a fedora dancing like it was his birthday.And itwas!He told us that our dance party had improved his special day.Abachelorette party came in and glowered at us for dancing better thanthey did (suckas).And as I was cutting a rug, some guy tapped myshoulder and thrust a piece of paper in my hand, saying, “Be there,"and just left."Mysterious," I thought to myself.I glanced at thepaper briefly and threw it in my purse.

After two and a half hours straight of dancing, we left the bar, onlyto be told by some guy “I’ve been waiting for you all night!”Me: “You have?”Guy: “Yeah!”Me: “What a waste of time!You don’t even know me!”Apparently everyone knew we were coming to town because everywhere wewent that's what we heard!

The next morning at Clary’s, the best place to eat brunch in all theland (as featured in “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil,” or asSavannahians call it, “the book”), I took another look at the piece ofpaper shoved in my hand at Mercury Lounge.It was an invitation to anevent called “Combat Paper,” which displayed the art of Iraq vets whohad made paper out of their uniforms as a cathartic way to deal withtheir war experiences and transition to civilian life.Why not?

Following our ridiculous breakfast, we took a Megan-guided tourthrough beautiful historic Savannah (I did not get us lost and I hitall the best features, thank you very much)- the perfect setup for atrip to the picturesque Bonaventure Cemetary.

Here are some fun facts about Bonaventure Cemetery:1) The majority of Savannah’s most famous photographs are taken herebecause of the quiet lanes and Spanish moss.2) Conrad Aiken’s grave is there.His grave is a bench.You aremeant to sit on the bench, gaze at the river, and bring a cocktail.You are meant to spill one on the ground for him and his family, andhave some yourself.We did.I want this done for me when I kick thebucket- it’s a fabulous idea.

Eventually we made our way back to the hotel so Caroline could showerand I could partake of more complimentary wine and cheese.It washere the hotel hostess (not the concierge, the hostess- she sees thateveryone has wine and cheese and serves as a one-woman welcomingcommittee and Savannah goddess) told me I would fit right in, inSavannah, as my manners were impeccable.I told her this was mydream.

Following the wine and cheese (to which a cleaner Caroline eventuallymade her way), we made our way over to the Combat Paper show at theMoon River Brewing Co, which made me nervous that we were going to runinto that angry Confederate again.We didn’t.The event was lovelyand included poetry readings and a paper exhibition by the vets, someof whom are our age.They were a really laid-back fun group, so weexchanged digits and made plans to meet up later.

We had bigger fish to fry until then.Namely… Paula Deen had fish tofry at “The Lady and Sons.”And she did, and she made cocktails, andI am in love with her.

After the love fest at Paula’s we made our way to a perfect littledive called Hang Fire, where a live band with, get this- AN ORGAN- wasplaying, and the biggest PBRs on the planet were being served.Danceparty with paper making vets ensued and an awesome party was had byall, even after I was accidentally elbowed in the face during thedance party (it got a little intense).

Brunch at Clary’s the next day involved more delicious pancakes andnever-ending coffee, a perfect start to a day which included a trip toTybee Island (pronounced, Tie-bee, not Tih-bee).Tybee Island isSavannah’s answer to Coney Island, only with a clean beach and nohypodermic needles.About twenty minutes outside city limits, thesand stretches long and wide.

We later headed across the street to a bar called Benny’s, whichboasted the coldest beer in America.Not only did Benny’s have coldbeers, but it also had a seven year old girl in the bar heckling herfather about his poor pool playing skills.She wore a swimsuit and ashirt but no pants (in all fairness the bar specified not serving youif you are shirtless- it said nothing about pants).Little girl wentto the bathroom and came back in just her swimsuit, to which herfather barked, “What’d ya do, crap your shirt?”After the novelty andhilarity of this wore off, we realized there was a little girl in abar… and we left.

We headed back to historic Savannah only to learn our flight had beencancelled.Savannah clearly did not want to part with us.To behonest, the feeling was mutual, even when I realized I would have towake up at 3:45 the following morning to catch my re-booked flight.(How do you like them apples, GI Joe?)

We spent our bonus night in style- dinner at the Olde Pink Houseagain, where we sassed the staff, with whom we are now best friends,about the simple syrup to bourbon ratio of a mint julep.Then off tothe Mercury Lounge again for some more bluegrass, this time a littlemore country, courtesy of Turkey Collar.

After a well-thought-out night on the town, we stumbled back to theroom for our 3:45 check out and 4am cab ride.

As we stepped off the curb to our airport-bound cab, we noticedanother passenger in the front seat.He was the cabby’s friend, thereto keep him company.And who do you think this man was? The owner ofthe Mercury Lounge!Shwing!Beau and I talked shop for a while, andI think I made a great new friend in my new home.At the very least Ican be a bouncer at the bar- I learned how to hiptoss on this trip.

And thus our adventure ended at the Savannah airport, in trueadventure style.Everything was unbelievably marvelous- from seeingmy beloved Jen, to summer camp and badass life skills with GI Joe, tofinding my true love in the entire city of Savannah.Uncle.

Over and Out.

Copa Awakening

In honor of our three year roommate anniversary (don't judge), Linds and I thought we would celebrate with a little dinner and a show. Linds being the theater aficionado, she picked Spring Awakening. Theater is like the movies to me - I have no idea what's out nor what's good, so she gets to pick. And good thing she did, she scored us $25 tickets through the Kennedy Center's Attend student tickets program. (Even collegians need a govt. handout.)

However, when it comes to restaurants ... i can flex my foodie muscles (which involves sucking in my belly while trying on swim suits). With my Washingtonian's 100 best restaurants checklist in hand I did a little research on our foggy bottom selections, being that the Kennedy Center is all of 5 blocks from our old GW stomping grounds. I came to find not only is Circle Bistro one of the areas acclaimed digs, they also have a pre-theater pre-fix menu. So if you are able to sneak in before 7 pm, you can snag an appetizer, entree, and dessert for $35. Not too shabby considering an entree goes for $29 alone. Now we blew that cork out of the bottle by adding on wine. Not the point.

And the menu was impressive. I had the house smoked gravlocks (they had me at avocado) and continuing with the seafood theme for my entree Seared Diver Sea Scallops, Carrot-Ginger Coulis, Garlic Confit, Baby Bok Choy. Presentation was excellent, service was superior, and the food was paired nicely and not overly done. Combined with the Pinot Gregio and chocolate brownie with espresso ice cream for dessert, I was in food coma heaven. Did I mention the restaurant itself? Swanky but not over-trendy. We had such a good time - this may fold into the theater evening flight pattern more often.

Now onto the show. I was expecting a story of teen angst in a High School Musical fashion, Boppy and light with a rock concert feel. But this production hit it all: abuse, teen pregnancy, suicide, abortion, and death. Not to mention a little on stage nudity. Whoops - wasn't expecting that. But it worked. Between the highly explosive dance sequences using literally all available stage space, and the charged rock and roll dialogue the show had yours truly crying, laughing, clapping and swooning - sometimes simultaneously.

A quick plot snapshot: the Tony award winning musical, based on the play by Frank Wedekind's literary masterpiece, follows eight German teens on the trail of self discovery. Although the play is set in 1891 the issues are just as relevant today. Wrapped in Dunken Shieks' rock lyrics, it's easy to see why this story of rebellion and understanding made waves on the Broadway scene two years ago. Interesting side note, this is one of the first instances in over 100 years that the entire story line was used because it was so controversial.

To Go Or Not To Go

We were full speed right out of the gate. Come on, it's one of the biggest horse races in the country. We had infield tickets, a strategy, and even parking passes. Not to mention, it's practically in our back yard, and Meg's was busting her butt to meet the DC chapter of the Team Awesome 810 girls (we were roommates in college.)

Of course, none of these perks were able to counter the three factors we had working against us: Meg's family, rain, and the wait for it....oh now here it comes around the bend....WHAT?!?!?! We can't BYO Booze? Seriously? To Freakness? Tradition Smadition. Albeit safe from Momma McG it looks like the usual suspects also felt the other two obsticles. I'm going to say it was the Rain. What do you think?

Toto, Thank God We're Not in Kansas Anymore!

(March 16) Arlington VA - Not quite considered the District but certainly not the suburbs, Crystal City - the 3rd stop off the yellow and blue line into the sprawl that is Northern Virginia, has undergone a bit of an identity crisis over the bast 10 years. With BRAC in full swing, many of the military offices are relocating outside the beltway.

The Crystal City Business Improvement District has been pulling out all stops to attract new office renters to fill the void. They struck cultural gold with the Arena Stage, who agreed to move in temporarily while the theater's permanent home undergoes not just a face lift but reconstructive surgery near the new ball park.

Only appropriate that the group entitle their annual fundraiser Arena Stage in Oz. Keeping with the cement jungle theme and glamming up the high rise community I've called home for three years now. But it begs the question...if we continue with this metaphor...who then is Dorothy and where the hell is the wizard!?

That was a lot of buildup for this fundraiser. Sorry...ish. If you're still with me lets continue down this yellow brick road.

Regardless, the evening kicked off with a silent auction across the street from home, convenient right?, in an all class office building that happens to block our near perfect view of National airport. Not weird, I like to watch planes, and I have hated this building for robbing me of that. So much for transparency kids.

Heading to the eighth floor, guests were invited to bid on a David Yurman bracelet, Nats tickets among other donated treasures while munching on Jaleo and Ruth's Chris's appetizers. I of course don't understand the concept of nibbling and buzzed around the tables like a buzzard swooping in on last nights kill. Clearly anorexia doesn't run in my family.

Working hard to cover the exposed sheet rock, but tapping the loft design theme everyone seems to LOVE, designers wrapped the area in black and green drapes. The under-construction floor afforded the artist liberty to literally paint a yellow brick road down the hallway. Fun nuevo chandeliers hung over the tasting tables while characters from Oz greeted/ terrified bidders.

The highlight of the contempo construction site had to be the view of the river and airport. Oh and the feet of the tables had Dorothy's ruby slippers. Well done Arena. As it should be. Save some money at the fundraiser, stretch those limited resources and put the money where it needs to go...on theater programs for high schoolers and your renovations.

One Singular Sensation

National Theater (March 12) - “A Chorus Line,” the longest running American Musical. Tragic I guess that I grew up in the cultural left big toe of the country and missed this one completely. Until Now.

Linds and I went to see THE BEST MUSICAL. EVER., as they say, at the National Theater. Apparently I was the only one who knew zippo about this theatrical phenom.While the audience, donning anything from weekend jeans for formal gowns (cringe, can someone please send out a memo on appropriate theater attire please) sang EVERY word to EVERY song, I bopped along to the quite catchy hooks.

Although considered THE BEST MUSICAL, this probably wasn’t it's best execution. I got the impression aside from a few standouts…like Robyn Hurder, playing the overqualified Cassie, and Deanna Aguinaga playing the Puerto Rican prodigy Lois, the cast left their belting boxes at home with the rest of their costumes. Others compensated with fancy footwork and flamboyant scissor kicks as per Anthony Wayne as Richi. But all in all I was glad I finally have reconnected to our Brodway blood-line.

And for the trivia whores out there…here you go: Yes - I am talking about YOU so keep reading.

- Each cast member kicks his or her legs a total of 36 times (18 kicks each leg) in the final kick line of the show.
- The only full costume change in the entire show is for the Finale. This costume for the men is a single jumpsuit – pants, shirt, and vest all sewn together with one zipper, giving them time to slip in, add socks, shoes, hat and jacket almost immediately. Question….how can you be sure you’re grabbing the right costume…EWE.
- The men keep battery packs for their microphone in a pouch just below their waist. Oh that's what that was. That changes things.
- Cassie sprays hairspray on her bum to keep her red leotard from venturing north during her solo. Wonder if that works on swim suits…
- They Mop n’ glow the stage floor before each performance to keep it slick for the dancers. Noted. Jen will not be testing that out...I have enough trouble standing as it is.
- They are making a documentary about casting this show….how ironic.

Like Porn For Techies

It's like porn for techies...no not pocket protectors - FOSE. It's one event that supernerds come out of the basement for, like Macworld is to San Francisco, ITEX is to Vegas, FOSE is to Washington DC. It's were vendors come to unvail the latest technology before governement contractors and burocrats alike in hopes to snag some of those tax dollars, and we hypergeeks eat it up. We plugged in for a street talk.

A Real Page Turner

Last weekend the DC Sigmas met at the new Southern/Belgian Cafe, Marvin,  for the monthly book club.

Being the erudites you would assume a sorority alumnae book club to be, we discussed, My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler. (My thoughts on the book). Nothing like chatting about someones sexcapades and romantic blunders over Bloody Mary's and Belgian waffle bacon egg and cheese sandwiches.

Stay tuned for next month's selection:

The votes are in! This month's DC Sigmas book club selection is  The Duchess.We're gonna switch up the neighborhood this time from U Street to Cleveland Park. Here are the details for the gabfest:

Book Club Meeting:
Sunday June 21st
2 pm at in Cleavland Park
Dino Restaurant (on the patio if weather is nice) .

This is by no means exclusive, if you haven't had a chance to join us yet, make this your first one! Bring a friend. This should be a nice beach read and why not share your thoughts with some awesome ladies?

We took a little vote last week on which book to read and although Duchess was the winner, Bitter is the New Black came in a close second. So I'd like to go ahead and make that the July selection if there are no objections.

Duchess by Amanda Foreman: (link to amazon, if you're buying online its the best price)
Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster (Here's the link to amazon, if you're buying online again its the best price I've found)

There Can Only Be One [Media] Sherriff In This Town

Jon Tollefson is back among the living here in DC, just in time for his birthday! Happy Birthday Jonney T!

In honor of his Yuppyness, we celebrated on the rooftop at 18th St Lounge! Then the rest of us media/legal/govt. hounds, we ducked out early for bed time, while the jet setter mingled. God it's good to have you back!

Holy Train Wreck!

Being 2500 miles away from the majority of my family can be hard at times, the hardest being everything you miss out on. So when the circus travels, I am the first inline to buy tickets.


This weekend was the Benson Family Three Ring Circus and it hit Virginia. Saturday marked my baby cousin Rachael's graduation from Liberty University. Out of the woodwork crawled her brother, Mom, Dad, her maternal grandparents and uncles. On the other side was the Grand Matriarch herself..Goose and the first lady..Aunt Kathy.

So Friday night I drove down to meet the clan. Only in my haste I remembered my toothbrush (two points) but forgot all make-up. Thankfully Goose and KB parked their RV in front of a 24 hour Walmart. Shut-up nugh-ugh right? For any atheists in the group I've got you some evidence of the divine right here. Divine sense of humor. Haven't rocked the Cover Girl in about 10 years, and after a re-acquaintance I won't be making any plans to switch back. But in a pinch...it was better than chalk and moisturizer.



The next morning we thought we'd get a leg up on the parking competition by pulling into the parking lot at 7 am. Wait for it....still in our pajamas. While grads were channeling their best grown up look - the three of us were re-enacting the walk of shame - complete with smeared mascara, one with a cane. 'No Shame' It's genetic.


After the two hour Jesus Sing -along and the pro-life/anti evolution rantings of the Clear-Eyes King - (I half expected Ben Stein to break out in a little diddy)we finally celebrated the accomplishments of Rae.


Sneaking out of town it was off to the Train Depot - all 15 of us - for some hamburgers, homemade Strawberry cake, and diet coke. Goose and I snuck off to get with Jesus and the 5 Catholics in Lynchburg and back to dinner. It was at the other train depot and again we had some burgers and I again depleted the restaurants supply of diet coke as I mourned the loss of the Caps.


Side note - while we were celebrating Rabie - Wanda Sykes was getting her comedy on with POTUS, FLOTUS, and the rest of Team Crack the Whip at the White House Correspondents Dinner. In total appropriateness Tommy was corresponding via text on just how many times I would need to change my pants, if only I were there. Whew - thank goodness my family saved me from such an embarrassing and costly evening!

Well I had no problem taking my single use knickers back with Goose and KB for another night in the Bounder!



Day 3: Rolling out like the storm chasers in Twister, complete with motor home, our caravan charted our course through history. Sounds gallant - Alma check your battery.



First stop on the tour: Appomattox - the historic location where the country reunited by the north and south signing a truce, ending the civil war. [insert bugle noise here] Still on my first cup of coffee all I could think was - once you've seen one dark, musty, old house - you've seen them all. Please I live a mile from Alexandria, Va. Throw a ghost in there and I'd go TMZ on their asses but I was content taking Maggie (goose's dog) out for her poop.



Then it was back in the car for Williamburg. My skin hasn't seen sun since Gore invented the internet so I rocked the sunroof open and drove to the beat of my own....ipod. Side effects included a royal burn and a sore neck.


We made it to Colonial Williams burg just 2 hours before they buttoned the hatches so we threw goose on an authentic Colonial carriage ride (aka the kneeling shuttle bus) and whizzed her through the Governor's mansion. Happy Mother's Day! Not in the most attentive of moods, I am impressed I was able to focus so intently....on our tour guide's mustache. Good thing she lectured with her eyes shut or else I'm afraid she may have found me creepy.


Completely oversaturated with family, history, and caffeine, Goose vetoed the Kings Tavern with the rest of the clan. I couldn't have signed that bill fast enough as we hit up Pete's - a hole-in-the-wall college hangout - for some pizza. Not gonna lie - delicious. (Warning - that may have been the diet coke talking.) Full of grease and asperteme Grant and I took to the 95 ....in silence....shocker right?

How To Talk To A Conservative If You Have To

Share your coffee creamer with them, apparently they drink coffee just like us moderates. Ann Coulter was in studio to promote her new book.

I wasn't aware and was a little shell shocked when I turned around in the kitchen to see her making coffee before the show.

I've gotta say, she puts on a good show in front of the cameras getting everyone's blood pressure rocking, but off stage, she's way cool.

Brown Baggin It

Last February, in honor of Singles Awareness Day, Tommy hosted a little soiree while he did his show live at the Hard Rock Cafe. Of course, with Chez Copa in tote.

What's not to love - a bunch of awkward singles, discounted booze, swag bags and -oh pinch me- a Photo booth! And yes, I did intentionally try to walk off with the Elvis glasses. I was caught. But we did walk off with some pretty awesome swag including a free facial gift certificate from Shiseido. So today at lunch I cashed that bad boy in.

The lovely Shiseido consultant escorted me to a back room at Bloomingdale's, Chevy Chase, equipped for such a challenge. Then for 40 minutes she gave my face a full rub down with all the fancy shmancy products that will never make it into the Jen-Richer budget. Despite the company's claims, I'm not sure how much long term good was actually done. But I did leave refreshed and look nice and shiny. And as a former Labrador in another life: I'm telling you the best part of the whole thing was when she rubbed my ears for 10 minutes. I took all my strength not to wag my imaginary tail.

Where Everyone Knows Your Name

Well sort of.

So I'm sitting at my favorite local watering hole (and predecessor to my retirement project Zoe and Joes) The Crystal City Sports Pub when who should I see...none other than Terry McAuliffe, former Clinton Fundraiser and DNC Chairman;  and current Gubernatorial candidate.

It all happened so fast, I didn't get the opportunity to work my Jen Richer charm and say hello again (we've met two other times) but I was able to snag a photo from a guy who snapped it on his iphone.

Celebrities eh, but politicos heck this was a full blown TMZ moment for me. Running to tell the owners who I just saw eating in their bar, I was expecting at least one 'wow' or at least a 'now way."

Instead I received four blank stares and one bold "who?". So much for everyone knowing your name - even if you are running for governor.