BY DONNIE JOHNSTON
She told officers she was just hurrying to get home.
That's the story the 33-year-old naked woman accused of ramming a U-Haul van into the bedroom of a South East Street house early Sunday afternoon gave Culpeper town police.
Will Green was sitting on the porch of the home he was visiting when he saw the van coming around a wide turn at what he said was a high rate of speed.
"I thought it was going to hit the neighbor's house," Green said yesterday. "I couldn't believe it when I saw it coming."
The van missed the neighbor's house but struck an SUV parked out front. It then careened into the yard and took out much of the railing and furniture on the patio there, Green said.
That may have slowed the van, but it didn't stop until it hit the side of Gilbert and Rosita Nelson's home next door, buckling the floor and pushing in the bedroom wall.
"It's a miracle that the lady next door, who is elderly, wasn't on the patio at the time," Rosita Nelson said. "She usually sits out there."
At that point Green, who admitted he was stunned, heard screaming.
"At first, I thought it was the neighbor lady. But when I got to the van, I found out it was the driver, who was trying to get out," he said.
"At first, I tried to help her. But when I saw she was completely naked, I just went back in the house and called 911," he added.
"After that, I got a sheet and took it out so she could put it around her."
Rosita Nelson said she was at work at the Dollar Store when her daughter called and told her what had happened.
"At first, I thought she said there was a van at the house," Nelson recalled. "She said, 'No, Mama! There's a van IN the house.' At that point, I ran the whole mile home."
Luckily, Gilbert Nelson, who is recovering from a heart attack and stroke, wasn't home at the time. He was out picking up his granddaughter.
"Usually, he's in the bed about that time," Green said.
Fearful the small house might collapse, police left the U-Haul, which Jenkins said the woman had rented a few days earlier, in the side of the building until it could be shored up. After about 24 hours, it was towed away.
Joyce Ann Herbert of Culpeper was charged with indecent exposure, driving with a suspended license, not wearing a seatbelt and driving without liability insurance, police Sgt. Scott Jenkins said. She was not injured.
Jenkins said Herbert had been discharged from Culpeper Regional Hospital that morning.
"She said she was in a hurry to get home," said investigating Officer Tony Sisk, who noted that Herbert had just left home before the accident happened.
Sisk said he had no idea why Herbert was nude at the time.
He said police officers had gone to Herbert's home to interview her on another occasion and she came to the door without clothes.
The van sustained front-end damage. Nelson said the SUV parked on South East Street was totaled.
The extent of the damage to the house, which Jenkins said is owned by Ronnie Frazier, was still being determined.
Stafford Dominatrix Released From Jail
BY KEITH EPPS 
A self-proclaimed dominatrix who spent nearly six years on the run after being indicted in Stafford County is free once again.
Patricia Helen Meehan, 57, who was picked up May 8 at her home in Hagerstown, Md., recently pleaded guilty to two charges in Stafford. She was released after spending several weeks in jail.
Meehan pleaded guilty in Stafford Circuit Court earlier this month to keeping a bawdy place and manufacturing marijuana. She received a total of six years in prison, all of which was suspended.
Two other charges, prostitution and crimes against nature, were dropped.
According to court records, Meehan lived in Aquia Harbour in 2001 when Stafford detectives raided her home and seized numerous bondage devices, whips, sexual aids, client databases and marijuana plants.
Police were notified about Meehan's activities by a family who was considering buying a home on her street.
Detectives learned that Meehan was advertising on the Internet and using the moniker, "Mistress Jesse."
On the Web site, Mistress Jesse said she "loves to control, manipulate and play with submissive men. This is a private home, fully equipped for most kinks and fetishes, can accommodate anything from novice to masochist."
She supposedly charged $275 per hour for each client, the affidavit for a search warrant states.
Meehan was released on a $1,000 bond following her arrest in 2001 and never showed up for trial.
Stafford Detective Dave Wood recently learned that Meehan was living in Maryland under the name of Patricia Noonan.
She was arrested last month and brought to the Rappahannock Regional Jail.
Prosecutor Jim Peterson said he felt justice was served by Meehan's felony conviction.
He said his case had been weakened over the years because authorities no longer had contact with some key witnesses.
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