Update on Momma Kim

Just landed this morning back in DC and I wanted to get everyone updated before I head to Florida for a convention this afternoon.

Dad is doing better. As expected we were all hurting pretty badly last week and although we are spread out all over the world, we are no strangers to airports. I flew in Friday and our stepbrother Jeff drove in from Tennessee Friday night. Carly flew in from Taiwan on Saturday and Ben flew in from Nevada on Monday. Having the kids around him was as much a relief as it was a distraction and with a little airplane-spoon feeding and downright bullying we were able to get some food into the old man. He still refuses to sleep in their bed. 

Family is good medicine - (write that down.) Something about the five of us kids together breeds mischief and gigglefits regardless of how deep the wounds are. I love a good from-the-other-side story but the reporter in me is trying to keep it objective. Whichever side of the fence you fall on Kim was with us the whole weekend too (ask dad about the spooky light bulb and the cell phone).

I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support - from the phone calls (even the 2 minute ones), to the emails, facebook messages, and flowers. They helped Dad immensely and me get through the day. When someone is taken away, its such a lovely reminder of who is still here.

As far as mischief....in between creating avatars on Wii and chronic redboxing in our pajamas, we were able to sneak in a little local Nawlins fare, backyard fireworks (Carly and I were severely outnumbered on the bro-mance bonding idea), and a quick (ghost) tour of the French Quarter as navigated by our own personal guide (who clearly had enough time on his hands over the last year to catch up on his ghost history).

We were also able to wrestle some details from the powers that be. I know there have been some rumors circulating but the final diagnosis on Momma Kim was congestive heart failure. The pathologist called it a textbook case - she had edema of the lungs and an enlarged heart. Grandpa Beck said it best, "we're not surprised that the doctor found her heart was just too big."

Thanks also to everyone for getting the ball rolling - Dad and Jeff are going up today to pick her up from Hadesburg, Mississippi and Jeff is flying out with her to San Diego tonight. Tomorrow Dad, Ben, Carly, Kyle, Kiana, and baby Madison are flying to San Diego. Tentatively the ceremony is set for Friday July 16 with a wake to follow. The Becks/Estes/Richers will be making those arrangements this Friday so stay tuned. I will be flying in Wednesday (14th) at night.

Also, the idea has been floated to ask for donations instead of flowers for San Diego Hospice (not Dad's Harley fund), as it was a cause Kim really championed while going through Grandma's illness. I will also keep you posted on that. I know the family is working on a muchloved.com page as well as an online memorial.

Speechless

Not even 14 hours ago, Momma Kim, the best thing that ever happened to Daddy, passed away suddenly. It was unexpected, and no one is to blame. But her fan club is still in shock. We will have more details later today when I arrive in New Orleans today.

Honeygrams is one of those rare, strong, angels I instantly loved. I often quipped with Dad - "Don't you mess this up...because we are taking her in the divorce." Hardly appropriate now but that would send the two of them into fits of giggles. The way they love each other - you'd think they were childhood sweethearts. And maybe they were in another life. She is far to wise for one lifetime. 

Although we Richers only got a brief time with her - she changed all of us. Momma Kim - There are no words to describe how much you are loved and how much you will be missed. You left your mark on all of us.

As the girl usually scrambling to find the nearest foot to shove in my mouth (hence the blog), ironically,  I am coming up short finding the right words. They will come, but in the mean time I'm going to borrow from you all.

Aunti Jo's email late last night: (Thank you Jo) 

Jen just called.  On a trip home from moving her son, she and Matt and Kyle were almost back to New Orleans and she died suddenly about 4 p.m. this afternoon East coast time.  The causes are not yet known.  Jen will be in New Orleans tomorrow.  Stay tuned for more information.  Presence and support of family is going to be very important.  He and Kim were very happy together; Kyle said she was his right hand, always there when he needed her.  Now Matt needs us and Kyle needs another right hand. 

Daddy: Thank you to all that have been such wonderful fiends to Kim over the years. At this point I just want to express to one and all: Love all for there may not be a tomorrow. Take each day as the gift that it is and share it with the ones you love as Kim has showed us. You will never know the depths of the void one leaves until they are no longer with us. Oh how I miss you already Kim I love you.

Kim was one of my best friends in highschool and I just before she moved reconnected with her as we shared memories of our past I realized how much I had missed her and now she is gone. I will always hold her close in my heart, my prayers are with her family and friends. RIP Kim....love Melony

I miss you so much Kim! I've just read your page and girl, you are loved. You have so many wonderful friends that have said so many wonderul things about you. You truly will be missed, Kim! I'm so glad that Matt found you, "the girl of his dreams", and I'm glad that we got to be as close as we are. Remember... we get y...ou in the divorce. lol Say Hi to mom for us! Keep an eye on Matt, he's gonna need it. Love you always! - Sue Babes

Eternal rest grant her, oh Lord. Let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul rest in peace through the mercy of God. Amen. - Aunti Steph

I'm stunned to hear this news. My prayers and thoughts are with Kim's family. She was clearly a woman who put her family and friends first. A huge loss. - Julie M.

Kim, we have been friends since grade school, and were just getting back in touch after so many years. I am so saddened... you will forever be in my thoughts and in my heart. - Laurie S.

I am sorry to announce that my BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD passed away 3 hours ago. I love you Kim! I will miss you so much! -Yvette

Hawaiians traditionally return their leis to the sea as the flowers die as a form of renewal... Take care...John

Taiwan Dispatch

For all you Richer Watchers:

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck..it's probably a Richer. In this case we're talking itineraries only billionaire trophy-wife jet-setters could keep up with. After Carly graduated last month from University of Hawaii, she took off to San Diego for our cousins wedding and then off to Nicaragua for a week - just cause.

Then it was back to Hawaii for a day and straight through to Taiwan to put her shiny new Marine Biology degree to work. She was scouted by her NOAA affiliated professor to join on of their grad students in Tawian to work on coral research. Not to shabby! Here's her latest dispatch. (Thanks Kim for forwarding!)

Im in Taiwan now, and everything is awesome! Our lab is at one of the largest aquariums in the world and they have whale sharks which is super cool! We're spending upwards of 18 to 20 hours in the lab every day doing coral larvae biology, which is awesome but a lot of work. Hope your day is fun and Ill talk to you later!

In other Richer news - Carly joined skype finally!

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

Apparently there is a genetic marker for jet-setters. As the Richer clan gears up for their cross country pilgrimage for Carly's graduation in Hawaii today, (I am bringing up the rear and making an entrance tomorrow), my cousin Dave Smith will also be racking up the frequent flier miles. He and his girlfriend will be studying abroad in Japan for the summer.

As you're downplaying your jealously (ok fine replace your with Jen in the previous statement), feel free follow along as the crazy kids get their blog on as they adventure. (also a genetic marker for blogging! It's the reporting/hamming it up gene!)

Movers and Shakers

There's Auntie Jo....Going and giving them IMF Folks a what-for! Such a schoolin- they posted her on their IMF Blog

The gathering on October 1 in Istanbul, ahead of the IMF’s Annual Meetings, was the culmination of a five-month consultation with civil society organizations. The Fourth Pillar representatives, chaired by Jo Marie Griesgraber of the Washington-based New Rules for Global Finance coalition, presented their final report to the Managing Director–which they had earlier discussed with the IMF Executive Board.

Babies Babies Babies

Congrats to auntie and now godmother Katie, her sister just had her baby shower in New York.

Congrats to my colleague Ty, who is due to have her baby girl in January. 

Congrats to my step-brother Jeff and his wife Kiana on their new baby girl - Madison. Here's the update from Momma Kim:  This is our newest grand baby, Madison Renay Estes.  She was born on July 22, 2009.  Her daddy is my son Jeff (Army SSgt) and her mommy is Kaiana.  Poor mom had a 28 hour labor.  We got the call early in the morning.  Hopped on a plane late in the afternoon to Olympia, Washington and we still made it there before Madison's debut. She is so sweet, good matured, and hardly cries.  She is just like her daddy.  His grandpa used to call him "Smiling Jack".  Daddy has been gone since she was 3 weeks old.  He will be back mid-November.  She came down to Southern California so both families could see the baby.  She is now 11 weeks old, and talks to daddy on the phone.  She is all ready for trick or treating with her cousins and Uncle Kyle. Hope all is well with you all! Honey Grams Kim & Poppa Matt (who is working now in New Orleans)
 

And congrats to my former professor Steve Roberts, who just published his baby, another book,"From Every End of the Earth," of which he generously dedicated to his students! "Friends: With no money out there for promotion I'm trying to publicize my new book, From Every End of This Earth, through social networking. Here's a link to a podcast and book excerpt, if you like what you read and hear, please send on the link, and some kind words about the book, to your own social networks. This book is dedicated to my former students at GW, which include many of you, and I'm deeply grateful for any help you can give. Best wishes. --Steve Roberts"

The Best Of The Best...

That's my cousin Kevin, this weekend playing for Navy's Lacrosse Team. Totally proud right now! I used to babysit this kid...and by babysit I mean receive a full brief on the Naval jet fleet by a 9-year-old, followed by  babysitter whomp plots by him and his brother, who looked about twice their age. My how things have changed....

Holy Train Wreck!

Being 2500 miles away from the majority of my family can be hard at times, the hardest being everything you miss out on. So when the circus travels, I am the first inline to buy tickets.


This weekend was the Benson Family Three Ring Circus and it hit Virginia. Saturday marked my baby cousin Rachael's graduation from Liberty University. Out of the woodwork crawled her brother, Mom, Dad, her maternal grandparents and uncles. On the other side was the Grand Matriarch herself..Goose and the first lady..Aunt Kathy.

So Friday night I drove down to meet the clan. Only in my haste I remembered my toothbrush (two points) but forgot all make-up. Thankfully Goose and KB parked their RV in front of a 24 hour Walmart. Shut-up nugh-ugh right? For any atheists in the group I've got you some evidence of the divine right here. Divine sense of humor. Haven't rocked the Cover Girl in about 10 years, and after a re-acquaintance I won't be making any plans to switch back. But in a pinch...it was better than chalk and moisturizer.



The next morning we thought we'd get a leg up on the parking competition by pulling into the parking lot at 7 am. Wait for it....still in our pajamas. While grads were channeling their best grown up look - the three of us were re-enacting the walk of shame - complete with smeared mascara, one with a cane. 'No Shame' It's genetic.


After the two hour Jesus Sing -along and the pro-life/anti evolution rantings of the Clear-Eyes King - (I half expected Ben Stein to break out in a little diddy)we finally celebrated the accomplishments of Rae.


Sneaking out of town it was off to the Train Depot - all 15 of us - for some hamburgers, homemade Strawberry cake, and diet coke. Goose and I snuck off to get with Jesus and the 5 Catholics in Lynchburg and back to dinner. It was at the other train depot and again we had some burgers and I again depleted the restaurants supply of diet coke as I mourned the loss of the Caps.


Side note - while we were celebrating Rabie - Wanda Sykes was getting her comedy on with POTUS, FLOTUS, and the rest of Team Crack the Whip at the White House Correspondents Dinner. In total appropriateness Tommy was corresponding via text on just how many times I would need to change my pants, if only I were there. Whew - thank goodness my family saved me from such an embarrassing and costly evening!

Well I had no problem taking my single use knickers back with Goose and KB for another night in the Bounder!



Day 3: Rolling out like the storm chasers in Twister, complete with motor home, our caravan charted our course through history. Sounds gallant - Alma check your battery.



First stop on the tour: Appomattox - the historic location where the country reunited by the north and south signing a truce, ending the civil war. [insert bugle noise here] Still on my first cup of coffee all I could think was - once you've seen one dark, musty, old house - you've seen them all. Please I live a mile from Alexandria, Va. Throw a ghost in there and I'd go TMZ on their asses but I was content taking Maggie (goose's dog) out for her poop.



Then it was back in the car for Williamburg. My skin hasn't seen sun since Gore invented the internet so I rocked the sunroof open and drove to the beat of my own....ipod. Side effects included a royal burn and a sore neck.


We made it to Colonial Williams burg just 2 hours before they buttoned the hatches so we threw goose on an authentic Colonial carriage ride (aka the kneeling shuttle bus) and whizzed her through the Governor's mansion. Happy Mother's Day! Not in the most attentive of moods, I am impressed I was able to focus so intently....on our tour guide's mustache. Good thing she lectured with her eyes shut or else I'm afraid she may have found me creepy.


Completely oversaturated with family, history, and caffeine, Goose vetoed the Kings Tavern with the rest of the clan. I couldn't have signed that bill fast enough as we hit up Pete's - a hole-in-the-wall college hangout - for some pizza. Not gonna lie - delicious. (Warning - that may have been the diet coke talking.) Full of grease and asperteme Grant and I took to the 95 ....in silence....shocker right?

And The Digi-Clouds Parted....

For all you facebook skeptics here is a warm and fuzzy. So a very close relative (alright screw anonymity, my dad) and his brothers grew up very close. From my recollection, they were inseparable. When my grandmother, their mother, passed...so did their relationship with each other. (Some families are better at handling loss than others) Any bad blood surfaced with the absence of the iron handed but lovable matriarch. That was 10 years ago and they have yet to talk.

Now I have been encouraging the family to chat via listserv (baby steps) and now join facebook to share pictures, stories etc. Finally my uncle and dad caved and jumped on the bandwagon. Being the cyber-meddler I suggested they 'friend' each other. And....

 

A small step for mankind....a digi-leap for the Wahine! P.S. feel free to hunt dad (Matthew C. Richer) out of Facebook.

Speaking Out

This is the statement I made at Pat's Funeral:

As one of the seven from the Estes-Richer clan, I was invited to speak about Grandma Pat – but this may be a shocker – there isn’t a whole lot I can say that you don’t already know about this amazing woman.

Working in DC – I deal with quite a few hobnobbers. They have the cars, the bling, and in this economy – they still have their homes – but the one thing they don’t have is class. Pat had this in abundance. Class is making the people around you feel special. It’s bringing out the best in them – just by being around them. Grandma Pat is one of the few people who rocked this everyday. Just look around – we’re a classy bunch. Pat brought us together and made us look good.

When Dad met his soul mate a few years back – we merged the two families. That can be tricky. I’m sure you all have heard a few horror stories yourself. The four Richer kids are a tough nut to crack. But Pat jumped right in.

I can still remember the first time we met Pat. Walking into the house she shouted across the room, transcending the chaos that is our family to introduce herself. “You must be Jen – you’re the white one.” She had already met the dark one – my sister who has the advantage of tropical sun 12 months out of the year.
Done and Done, the deal was sealed. I found a kindred spirit – a fellow loudmouth. It didn’t stop there – from that point on we were treated as her own. Not a birthday went by without a card from Grandma and Grandpa. And those “no presents please” Christmas' resulted in two trees and five hour unwrapping sessions. Whenever Kim and I were catching up on the phone and Grandma Pat was within a five mile radius she was there grabbing the phone genuinely concerned with how I was doing. And this was by no means exclusive treatment. She did this with everyone. Look around there are at least a hundred of you she did this for – how exhausting.

On the flight here I finally saw the film Marley and Me. It’s about the relationship between a columnist, his family and an adorable Lab. At the end of the movie the newspaper man describes the impact the dog had on the family. He asks the audience how many people do you know that love you like Marley – completely, unconditionally and make you feel that special. Well I can confidently answer on behalf of my siblings; Grandma Pat did.

"I've-tried-4-million-times-but-you-still haven't-returned-my-phone-call"

From the Frontlines: (The Jen never answers my phone call but still considers me one of her best friends support group)

Aly: Ha! Some of us are veterans of 10+ years in the "maybe, please god, maybe the 15th time is my lucky charm" category!

Matt: Now I love Jen to death. She has always been one of my closest friends...I have known Jen Richer for almost 20 years (true story) and I can say without a doubt that she is by far the most difficult person on the face of the planet to get in touch with. When you do finally get her to answer the phone she suddenly has to run and then says "I will call you back"...I can say again without pause, don't wait by your phone. I can't begin to tell you the number of messages I have left for her. She even admits that she is horrible at it. So trust me. I win as far as number of times I left a message but never got a call...

John: I never claimed to think I was the only one you ignored when I wrote you a note. I have complained about this before, and you told me that Lindsay complained about the same thing all the time! It's interesting how you take this character flaw of YOURS, and spin it into a quirky little thing that your FRIENDS obsess over. Great spin, Jenny. You oughta work in DC!

After you've read it, please respond below the post with your best "I've-tried-4-million-times-but-you-still haven't-returned-my-phone-call" Jen Story. He thinks he's discovered something new. I am trying to prove there is an entire community of you out there.

John: when you get home tonight, talk to your fellow copians about improving your communications skills! homework!

me: if by communications you mean spelling there's no hope for me

John: I could write a novel about you, and I might STILL never directly hear from you ever again...I must sound like your mother, but too damn bad!

me: I am so blogging about this

So my mentor and former boss with whom I am still very close to made the great digital leap last year and finally joined the digital community that I am so wholeheartedly plugged into (blog, gmail, facebook, etc.)

Today, we were chatting on gchat because like so many of you, there is no way in hell I could squeeze even a 5 min. phone call in with my overwhelming to do list.

But with the power of gchat I am somewhat more accessible. I am such fan of these plateforms because where I fail at staying connected, they pick up the slack.

What he thinks is a unique discovery, you all have expressed (often heatedly) as a true JEN-ISM.

By this point you know it's not possible to hurt my feelings so please be as graphic as necessary.

Transcontinental Immunity Boost

I have to apologize for the delayed postings, after the fabulous albeit brief San Diego run, I seem to have contracted a little cold from the tin can petri dish that is modern air jet. But this trip was just what I needed.

After actually making my flight and flying into San Diego at a decent hour, I had some quality catch up time with Carly, whom I hadn't seen in over 8 months.

The next morning I had set aside for cleaning out the garage. Instead we coerced mom into a family trip down to the sprint store. My Winston had decided to start dialing whomever he pleased. My siblings apparently had been under similar direst. With my heart set on the i-phone however, I was hesitant to resign with Sprint. Luckily my roomie Linds alerted me to the Intuition (Instinct, but because it was introduced to my by that name, I am having a hard time using the correct one.) Wow this really is the i-phone killer! The biggest perk is the double battery system - it wont help me to answer the phone, but at least its not because the battery is dead!

That evening we had my Aunt's 50th birthday and retirement party. Oh lordie. When I was asked to be a speaker, I assumed it was a casual grab-the-mike-and-say-a-few words type deal. By now if you haven't reached this conclusion yet ...I can hold my own in the impromptu department. After comparing notes with her best friend Valerie however, I quickly discovered, this was a bit more detailed. Woops.

With 5 minutes to spare I finished! You can see the speech in it's entirety here.

After a very thoughtful and researched  introduction by her partner Sina (she downloaded my bio off my work website) she was ready to hook me off the stage as if this were an acceptance speech at the Oscars - cue the music, dim the lights. But speaking on behalf of the family, I wanted to make my point. KB kicks ass and I had a five minute floor to declare that!

Having lost my place after Sina's third "one minute" call I went off page and finished. Looking out at the 150 + attendance I saw KB rolling in fits of laughter, my family chuckling and, what I thought, a generally positive reception of the speech. Hello - I was looking right at them, while they laughed with me (or at me) and KB's tales from our family!

The reason I describe in defense is afterward, I was approached by at least five non-relatives to say "your speech was hilarious...no matter what anyone says." The fact that each comment included that secondary clause leads me to believe one of two things: my remarks bombed, or half of those people in attendance don't know the real KB. Woops...now they do!


My key-note speaking debut aside, the party was amazing. Done as a luau theme, the stage show included hula dancers. There is nothing more entertaining than watching my 40 year uncles and my 90 year-old great uncle try to hula on stage with the pros! Watch those hips fellas!

To continue with the culture immersion of the evening, we all headed to in-cahoots. A country-western bar smack dab in the middle of the sleepy beach town of San Diego. A few G & T's and an Irish Car bomb later we we're demonstrating our superior country dancing skills on the dance floor. Must have been intimidating because my cousins, our two exchange students, Aly, Matt and I were the only ones left by the time the songs changed.

Time to go home kids! A Mexican taco shop, two winks, and three hours later, Carly and I were off to meet her friend Kevin's parents for a little surfing action, before the crowds hit the sands.

The waves were body-whompers (shore breaks so your body gets whomped) but there was light at the end of the tunnel with Mexican breakfast included. Delicious. Then an hour trek up to Ramona to visit Dad, steal the bro, and take a nap.

On the agenda for the evening: drive in movies - red neck style. We've got this down to a science. Two trucks, two foam mattresses, four sleeping bags, eight pillows, tons of candy and jumper cables (two movies over the car radio tends to drain the battery.)

Kyle was dying to see Star Wars: Clone Wars, followed by Batman: Dark Knight. The plan was to sleep through the first and watch the second, but both Kyle and I (as he puts it) "were just going to rest until the good parts" of Batman. Thank goodness, I really needed some sleep anyway!

Sunday is church day with Granny Goose. I am not particularly religious, but this is a little tradition for both of us to go to church together, early. After dropping Carly off at the airport, a little God, it was back to the house for some sunday circular stealing, breakfast, and the treat of waking up mom on the weekend: futile for those over 10 years old. Thank God for Kyle!

Then I decided we should rearrange moms living room, six hours before my flight. I was mostly packed and had lunch plans (Mexican of course!) so I could surely squeeze it in. For once my timing was dead on. With just enough time to make it through security, now with my luggage (screw you US Air - I WILL get that bag on the plane sans surcharge) and benadryl - for ensured sleepage it was back to the Right coast.

Everything was perfect - except for that little cold - which like my tan, had subsided. Until we meet again San Diego (Christmas baby).