Update on Momma Kim

Just landed this morning back in DC and I wanted to get everyone updated before I head to Florida for a convention this afternoon.

Dad is doing better. As expected we were all hurting pretty badly last week and although we are spread out all over the world, we are no strangers to airports. I flew in Friday and our stepbrother Jeff drove in from Tennessee Friday night. Carly flew in from Taiwan on Saturday and Ben flew in from Nevada on Monday. Having the kids around him was as much a relief as it was a distraction and with a little airplane-spoon feeding and downright bullying we were able to get some food into the old man. He still refuses to sleep in their bed. 

Family is good medicine - (write that down.) Something about the five of us kids together breeds mischief and gigglefits regardless of how deep the wounds are. I love a good from-the-other-side story but the reporter in me is trying to keep it objective. Whichever side of the fence you fall on Kim was with us the whole weekend too (ask dad about the spooky light bulb and the cell phone).

I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support - from the phone calls (even the 2 minute ones), to the emails, facebook messages, and flowers. They helped Dad immensely and me get through the day. When someone is taken away, its such a lovely reminder of who is still here.

As far as mischief....in between creating avatars on Wii and chronic redboxing in our pajamas, we were able to sneak in a little local Nawlins fare, backyard fireworks (Carly and I were severely outnumbered on the bro-mance bonding idea), and a quick (ghost) tour of the French Quarter as navigated by our own personal guide (who clearly had enough time on his hands over the last year to catch up on his ghost history).

We were also able to wrestle some details from the powers that be. I know there have been some rumors circulating but the final diagnosis on Momma Kim was congestive heart failure. The pathologist called it a textbook case - she had edema of the lungs and an enlarged heart. Grandpa Beck said it best, "we're not surprised that the doctor found her heart was just too big."

Thanks also to everyone for getting the ball rolling - Dad and Jeff are going up today to pick her up from Hadesburg, Mississippi and Jeff is flying out with her to San Diego tonight. Tomorrow Dad, Ben, Carly, Kyle, Kiana, and baby Madison are flying to San Diego. Tentatively the ceremony is set for Friday July 16 with a wake to follow. The Becks/Estes/Richers will be making those arrangements this Friday so stay tuned. I will be flying in Wednesday (14th) at night.

Also, the idea has been floated to ask for donations instead of flowers for San Diego Hospice (not Dad's Harley fund), as it was a cause Kim really championed while going through Grandma's illness. I will also keep you posted on that. I know the family is working on a muchloved.com page as well as an online memorial.

Speechless

Not even 14 hours ago, Momma Kim, the best thing that ever happened to Daddy, passed away suddenly. It was unexpected, and no one is to blame. But her fan club is still in shock. We will have more details later today when I arrive in New Orleans today.

Honeygrams is one of those rare, strong, angels I instantly loved. I often quipped with Dad - "Don't you mess this up...because we are taking her in the divorce." Hardly appropriate now but that would send the two of them into fits of giggles. The way they love each other - you'd think they were childhood sweethearts. And maybe they were in another life. She is far to wise for one lifetime. 

Although we Richers only got a brief time with her - she changed all of us. Momma Kim - There are no words to describe how much you are loved and how much you will be missed. You left your mark on all of us.

As the girl usually scrambling to find the nearest foot to shove in my mouth (hence the blog), ironically,  I am coming up short finding the right words. They will come, but in the mean time I'm going to borrow from you all.

Aunti Jo's email late last night: (Thank you Jo) 

Jen just called.  On a trip home from moving her son, she and Matt and Kyle were almost back to New Orleans and she died suddenly about 4 p.m. this afternoon East coast time.  The causes are not yet known.  Jen will be in New Orleans tomorrow.  Stay tuned for more information.  Presence and support of family is going to be very important.  He and Kim were very happy together; Kyle said she was his right hand, always there when he needed her.  Now Matt needs us and Kyle needs another right hand. 

Daddy: Thank you to all that have been such wonderful fiends to Kim over the years. At this point I just want to express to one and all: Love all for there may not be a tomorrow. Take each day as the gift that it is and share it with the ones you love as Kim has showed us. You will never know the depths of the void one leaves until they are no longer with us. Oh how I miss you already Kim I love you.

Kim was one of my best friends in highschool and I just before she moved reconnected with her as we shared memories of our past I realized how much I had missed her and now she is gone. I will always hold her close in my heart, my prayers are with her family and friends. RIP Kim....love Melony

I miss you so much Kim! I've just read your page and girl, you are loved. You have so many wonderful friends that have said so many wonderul things about you. You truly will be missed, Kim! I'm so glad that Matt found you, "the girl of his dreams", and I'm glad that we got to be as close as we are. Remember... we get y...ou in the divorce. lol Say Hi to mom for us! Keep an eye on Matt, he's gonna need it. Love you always! - Sue Babes

Eternal rest grant her, oh Lord. Let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul rest in peace through the mercy of God. Amen. - Aunti Steph

I'm stunned to hear this news. My prayers and thoughts are with Kim's family. She was clearly a woman who put her family and friends first. A huge loss. - Julie M.

Kim, we have been friends since grade school, and were just getting back in touch after so many years. I am so saddened... you will forever be in my thoughts and in my heart. - Laurie S.

I am sorry to announce that my BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD passed away 3 hours ago. I love you Kim! I will miss you so much! -Yvette

Hawaiians traditionally return their leis to the sea as the flowers die as a form of renewal... Take care...John

New Orleans Rent-al

At fifteen, I couldn't wait to shake the parental units. Fast-forward ten years and I can't wait to hang with them. Who knew they were so cool? (k - well I did - but I would never have said while they were within earshot.) So when Dad and Kim bit the bullet and moved down south, cutting my flight time for a visit in half (it was for me after all - not Dad's work assignment- chuh) - I kicked my kayak.com self into high gear and managed to finagle a weekend of hang time in. What's not to love -down time with the big kids, not to mention - being the only child for the weekend. Plus, I was able to line it up with Jazz Fest - what has been defined by the locals as the authentic New Orleans holiday (as opposed to the imported Mayhem of Mardi Gras).

I hadn't been to the whoodat nation since aforementioned shit show. So the plan was: fly in, burn through my magazine stock on the flight (2 months behind), hang with the parents, get fat, do some jazz fest, and roll out. The real success of the weekend was I made my flights - both of them - shocker.

I rolled in alright - completely exhausted from the week. All I wanted to do Friday night was pjs and sleep. But Dad and Kim were so flipping adorable. I was expecting to the obligatory rolling curbside pick up. But as I come down the gang plank - there are these two little faces peeking out from the Useless TSA Forbidden items/threat level placard. Damn near scared the crap out of me. Loved it.

I was so hungry that Dad vetoed Mother's (a highly recommended diner) and opted for a local dive in Bucktown called Deanie's. EVERYTHING on the menu was deep fried. So I thought I'd combat that with a salad and share some shrimp off Kim's plate. Only their small servings could feed three. Shamelessly I waddled out. Mission accomplished.

The next morning - Kim and I got up early to get our walk on to hopefully clear some room for the rest of our gastro-weekend. I think we may have spent more calories gabbing than striding.  They're neighborhood has three lakes - and I kid you not - Kim knows every web footed resident. Bonus Mom gets bonus points for trying to pawn me off on the single neighbors, quaking and otherwise.

The plan was to hit the jazz fest - but I had been whining about my quickly depreciating caffeine levels - I was demanding a Starbuckios sippie cup. So to shut me up - Dad pulled over. Only my green headed maiden was not the Seattle goddess - she was a Frenchie caked in powdered sugar called Cafe du Monde. I'd been to the sticky dive in the French Quarter last year - but who knew the powdered sugar, cash-only palace was a franchise! I split the beignet and splurged on my big cup o' joe.

Not only did they look at me like I was crazy - the clerk openly judges, "You gonna drink all that?" Before I could fire a witty zinger back - Dad jumps in with a, "hell yeah - she's from DC." To which the line (clearly eavesdropping) understandingly nods in unison. Once again the caffeinated cheese stands alone.


Wholly unprepared for the our next stop, we make our way to the Jazz Fest. Couple of notes for next time - not media, flip flop, definitely not conservative Palin-loving-parent-friendly and if you didn't pack your umbrella/camp chair/ or rain boots - not Jen friendly. It's a great deal - $60 for a full day of awesome performances but when Dad offered to drop me off rather than buy into activity, I started making plans to go next year with my sissie and our matching Koozies instead.

Instead we headed back to the French Quarter. Dad insisted on taking me to see Marie Laveau's tomb. I'm thinking dead people over covers of the Grateful dead? Really? But I have to say - the man did his research. He's zipping between tombs (totally creepy btw - there are over 600,000 people burried in this graveyard the size of a city block) firing off facts like an ipad loaded to a Wikipedia page. Thirty minutes later we finally get to Marie Laveau's - the voodoo queen's, tomb. I could go through all the info but here's the important part - everyone comes here to make a wish on her tomb. And there are quite a few "thank yous" on there too. Say what you will about throwing salt over you shoulder - but this diva's got something going on when people are coming back to say thanks. So here Kim and I are marking x's and spinning around like fools. If you told us to hop on one foot and say the alphabet backwards I bet we would have done that too. Not the highest point in my wishmaking career.

Then we hit Canal Street for a little shopping and more food! Don't judge - I said FAT! So we split a muffaletta at Central grocery and a pellegrino. Then swung by the tourist trap - Jimmy Buffet's for a Mojito. I've had better - but Daphne the bartender was HILARIOUS. If your in town say hi for me!

On the way back - it occurred to me where I get my frugality - Dad insisted we play in Harrah's casino for 30 minutes so we could get free parking. BRILLIANT! They even won $30 between the two of them. I lost $10 but earned it back in cocktails. Should have brought my own sippy cup - shake shake. Just sayin.

We had these big plans to cap the night with a movie and ice cream but Kim and I fell asleep as soon as our purses hit the couch - let alone our bums. I'd like to blame it on couch commando and his NHRA but we were whooped.

Day two they tried so hard to keep me entertained. I have to be honest we could have driven in circles and I would have been completely happy.

They drove me through the Garden District and like a good real estate agent - told me how perfect I would fit into these multimillion dollar estates. "Look Jen - there's even a Land Rover. You could move down here and work for the news media (guess who else listens to talk radio) and cover the corruption. That's a hot story." Thanks Dad I've still got my work cut out inside the beltway. The sad part is - I think he was serious.

As the tornado watch burned we had breakfast at the original O' Henry's and toured the neighborhood.


Then it was time to catch the ugly flight - N.O. to Chi-town and red eye into BWI. Stupid Jen...Stupid Stupid Stupid. What part of red-eye did I miss? I had just enough time to drop my suitcase - change into work clothes and head into the District for work.

Apparently Pres. Obama had the same idea I did, because on the way to the airport, Air Force One was taking off right over our heads. He was in town for the oil spills. And while Dad and Kim were dumbfounded - I'm thinking - wait- come back - I need a direct flight back to DC too.

Rolled Tacos or Bust

A week ago – Kim made the call we were all dreading. Grandma Pat had passed away. She had been bed ridden for going on seven months now, while the cancer attacked her bones, brain and breasts. She was a fighter but this battle she couldn’t win.

My sister and I flew in from our respective corners of the country, Carly from Hawaii and I from DC. Dad and Kim were so excited to have the family back together he even made his 6 hour round trip to Los Angeles a day earlier! Oops.

The trip from DC wasn’t much smoother. After a 7 hour delay at JFK (the co-pilots window had a crack and rather than switch out the planes and get us home in time for the Mexican dinner I had planned, we sat while we waited for the glue to dry. After 7 hours they decided to switch the planes. Harrumph.)

No worries, Carly drove me through the Taco Fiesta on the way up the hill. Thank you Taco Fiesy for serving rolled tacos with guacamole at even the most heinous hours of the night, bringing the upper echelon together with drunk high-schoolers. That’s love.

The next day we spent remember grandma pat. Below are the notes I read to the 100 that had gathered graveside. Wearing a new sundress, I underestimated its coverage and my sister-in-law graciously tugged my ear to pull up my dress. Unfortunately I had already taken my place in front of the crowd. So while I made my introduction I crassly adjusted myself. While most would be appalled it seemed to break the ice. What an easy crowd ;-) Kim, Dad, and Carly on behalf of Aunt Pat delivered very moving speeches.

Among the many new faces that were touched by Grandma Pat – it was great to see some old friendly ones, like Uncle Bill, Aunt MeeMee and Dads lifelong friend Sue. We spent the rest of the bouncing between receptions hosted by their church in Ocean Beach and the family at Grandpa Dwayne’s.

It was a relief to finish the night watching AUSTRALIA. In case you were wondering…fantastic movie. A little long but worth the time.

After a wake up time rivaling that of my collegiate years, the four Richer kids bombarded Dad and Kim to recap the day. Then it was down the hill to spend some time with Mom and Goose. Running a hair late, I snuck into Church with Goose. And what is Church without a meal following. So we rallied the troops and overtook the back room at El Toritos. Goose, KB, Sina, Mom, Tony, Carly, Ben, Danielle, and I thoroughly terrified the waiter but had a great time nonetheless. Topic of conversation: Grandmas new patio.

The one thing my family is really fantastic at? Follow though. So we all piled into our respective trucks and headed over to check out the new patio. We even had uncle jeff come join us at the hot new venue. I love San Diego. It’s like the country only with a beach.

In celebration of Grandma’s new patio – and because my feet desperately needed it – I kidnapped Goose to get our feet done.

Then it was back to the Richer clan. The Richer four were meeting Dad, Kim, Grandpa Dwayne, Aunt Pat, and Krista for dinner on the embarcadero at the Elephant and Castle. Somehow the four of us have a tendency to make an entrance and tonight was no different. As dad called to check up on where we were (we were running a few minutes late) we answered him not over the phone but by shouting at him from across the street. After a few beers and fish and chips, we toasted grandma with a box of Milk chocolate chocolate Sees truffles. I bet that made her smile.

Now for the hour trip back to Ramona. Piling into dads 68 convertible Pony (Mustang) the radio is dead at best. So Carly and I created the classic rock station – belting anything from Journey to the entire Top Gun Soundtrack. We finished the night off in the big Dad/Kim bed watching Twilight.